HOW MY ENTIRE LIFE CHANGED

When I say that I had an epiphany, that may sound crazy but I don't know how else to describe it. 

I am a career woman, I work hard at my job and I run my household.  I have always liked nice "things" like clothes, furnishings etc.  I have always felt that I work hard for my money and if I want to buy a new handbag I will or if I want to redecorate I will.  I guess you could say I was materialistic lol. 

I discovered that everything I needed in life was already around me.  I had everything, an amazing husband, wonderful kids, and I didn't need anything else.  Nothing at all. 

I now have no desire to buy things, or go shopping.  I could care less about new fashion or clothing.  I don't care about "stuff" at all.

This feels amazing, to finally after 38 years feel content and truly happy with what I have.  To feel completely full filled in life is something that I thought I had already but I was wrong.

Not only did I realize that I don't need material things, but also that I don't need acceptance from the people that I always thought I did.  I don't need approval from the people that I thought I did.  I realized that I would never ever get it.  No matter what, I would never truly be accepted by them or approved by them.  They will always think they are better, as a person, as a mother, as an employee, as a friend, parent etc.  So why have I wasted so many years of my life trying to please people who don't matter? The people who's opinions matter are those who can accept me for who I am and love me for who I am.

Why was I so worried about them judging me, or criticising me about my decision making, my parenting skills, my ethics or my values?  Who are they?  And better yet...where are they? 

I can finally stop living my life for others.

Living my life to make people happy who really are not a factor in my life is no longer an option. 

I am not perfect, and I make lots of mistakes.  But I am pretty freaking amazing!  I have a big heart, I have an enormous amount of empathy.  Too much according to my boss.  I have always put everyone else first, everyone else's needs and feelings first.  But not any more.  I discovered that if I am satisfied and content with myself, then I am a better person, a better mother and a better wife.  That's all that matters.  People can continue to judge, they can continue to criticise, that's okay with me.  I wont hold it against them:)  I just have more important things to worry about.