Recently someone said to me "you are so lucky to have gotten a free boob job".
Okay so.......
First of all I did not get a "boob job"!
Second of all the only thing that I would consider "lucky" is my new found appreciation and love for what is most important in my life.
During a mastectomy, ALL OF YOUR BREAST TISSUE is removed. Every last ounce.
I do not have and will never have Emma Glover's big, full, squishy boobs that every man dreams of. I could have had these boobs if I did not decide to eliminate the cancer risk from my body so that I could see my children grow up, get married and have my grandbabies.
My "foobs" are firm, round balls covered with a thin layer of dermal tissue, therefore advertising every imperfection, wrinkle and crease and my "fipples" are flat.
Any type of movement that utilizes my pectoral muscles cause my foobs to turn into something similar to a waffle ball.
I wear Dr. Scholls callus cushions over my fipples to protect them every day and will do so as long as humanly possible. This is so sexy!
Yes this is so amazing! To feel disfigured and unattractive, I couldnt be more "lucky".
I will be undergoing a 5th surgery in February. Hopefully to re-reconstruct my nipples, and re-tattoo my areolas.
In June I will undergo a 6th surgery called a capsulectomy to remove my capsular contracture and release the pressure on my implants one more time! Along with more fat grafting.
If that doesnt work and the capsule returns, we will remove the implants and try another brand.
If that doesnt work I may have to eat cheesecake every day and gain 40lbs so that I have some fat to use as foob tissue in place of implants.
And after that I will wear Dr. Scholls sexy callus pads over my fipples again for 6 months.
Remembering to remove them before revealing my new sexy La Vien Rouge garter and thigh highs to my man.
I will remember to also dim the lights and light the candles, you know for that ambience!
Remembering to remove them before revealing my new sexy La Vien Rouge garter and thigh highs to my man.
I will remember to also dim the lights and light the candles, you know for that ambience!
God.....boob job! Seriously?
It seems that no one can really understand what another person goes through. Even for those of us who have had mastectomies with reconstruction, every person's experience is different. There will always be ignorant comments - usually the person means well; they simply have no idea what it is you're living through.
ReplyDeleteSorry I can't give you anything more than this... my own reconstruction is currently suffering from the radiation I had four years ago, which has prevented proper healing on one side. Right now I've got a Frankenboob - stitches zigzagging all over the place from where necrotic skin was removed, plus two angry red open craters.
Someday this will be behind us and we will look good in clothes again. But the ship has sailed on looking good naked.
Thanks Diana, Its so nice knowing that we are not alone. Sometimes I have to give myself a reality check, I did this for preventative measures, thankfully as my pathology indicated it saved my life. I am lucky that I didnt need radiation, chemo and that I have kept my ovaries. Most women arent so lucky! I truly believe someone was looking down from above. My thoughts are with you and your family as you continue on your journey.
ReplyDelete